MUGANIMATE SECTION
(MANIPULATION, NSFW, MENTAL ABUSE)
-- Beginning relationship with Mug(07/28/2022)
Around July 28, where me and Mug started to get more close as bestfriends. there was an on going issue with one of Mug's friends which i'll not mention their name, it caused Mug to have some issues with his self worth and i was there to defend and comfort him. but before that, around July 22, Zoey later on DMS me about his suspicions on Mug before me and him became bestfriends.
I'll have to mention that, what Zoey said here is actually false cause apparently, Mug didn't have a thing for me here to begin with, Zoey managed to twist his conversation with Mug to make it seem like Mug is trying to plot something bad with my relationship with Vill. although i completely shrugged it off cause i doubted Mug would ever do that to begin with. (screenshot below)
This assumption from Zoey caused me to believe that Mug has a thing for me. and it was more believable for me cause around this time still, i always believed Zoey was right with everything, so i followed with what he said. (so i was just being gaslit basically.)
after Zoey telling me about it, the tension between me and Mug was getting more weirder and weirder the more me and him interact. i kept overthinking about what Zoey really said about Mug, and kept on thinking on whatever Mug said to me could mean in a different context.-- JULY 28I confessed to Mug about what i felt about him, while still having doubts with it cause i was really unsure about what i really felt about him.
but that confession lead him to also develop romantic feelings as well.
i've discussed about me being polyamorous around the time, which lead me to have a serious conversation with Villezen about it, he did share his concerns about it but he said he still accepts me if i do.
I had asked for permission to Vill if he consents with the poly relationship happening, so i ended getting into a relationship with both of them. Mug did want the relationship to be private for obvious reasons.
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SCREENSHOT #1
(NOTE: When Mug said i love you in the screenshot, me and him were at a mutual understanding that it's platonic love, but that's also the same moment where he started to develop romantic feelings.)
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-- Deteriorating of relationship and the reason as to why I accused mug of being a bunch of terrible things
Few days after me and Mug had decided to be in a relationship, this had caused a lot of issues between me and Vills. Vill started to become distant and passive aggressive whenever i try to interact with him and mention Mug, so i've vented so much about it to Mug's dms. this caused me and Vill to have arguments frequently which had caused a lot of stress on me. but Zoey had convinced Mug that he was an issue to my relationship with Vill, which lead Mug and Vill to have a conversation about it. Mug had attempted to break up with me but i was under so much stress i started to overreact and say that i would KMS. i really didn't mean to say that in all seriousness but it was in the moment and i apologize to Mug for saying that in general.
There was a point where Mug had said that he wanted me to stay as a biological female. and i took that as an offense around that time cause i was very insecure about my own body, and being identified as a guy was something that makes me happy, which is where the TRANSPHOBIA accusations come in play. (before Mug explained why he said those in the first place, it was a really big misunderstanding.)
i didn't know what to do so i went to Zoey for help.
-- AUGUST 27th
I got back in contact with Zoey on a new account named "Lorenzo.J" to discuss my relationship issues between me, Vill & Mug. Zoey would normally be the guy who speaks for both sides cause i couldn't really speak up for myself, and a few days later Mug decided to add Zoey on that account aswell.-
-- AUGUST 31ST - SEPTEMBER 3RD (THE DAY MUG GOT BANNED ON MY DISCORD SERVER)
(continuation) AUGUST 31st, Zoey kept on messaging me about how Mug keeps on dming him about me, and Zoey eventually wanted to make a GC that has me, Mug and him, talking about how Mug should take a mental health break cause of his obsessive behavior. but Mug has retaliated multiple times but me and Zoey gave him a chance to stay for a bit. in my dms, Zoey would compare Mug to Shannon to make me scared of Mug. and lead me to have a mindset that Mug is like Shannon. (further screenshots will explain more of this segment)
overall, Zoey had some type of bias to Mug, which is why he acted the way he does in these screenshots, it is not acceptable and it's shitty.-- MY SEXUAL BEHAVIOR WITH MUG.
There would be a time where me and Mug would have vcs where we would kiss eachother's pillows to imagine kissing eachother, i've told him if he was able to record himself kissing his pillow, and i want to say that i have infact masturbated to it. i want to apologize for this, this is generally wrong for me to do, and it's disgusting. i've regretted this for so long cause of how disgusted i was for doing that in the first place.
-- Reason as to why I kept acting negatively towards Mug
I wasn't entirely comfortable with being around Mug back around the times i would have him friended, but i would have kept him friended so he wouldn't do anything harmful to himself, i would vent about what i feel about Mug on a private channel on my server and in Villezen's dms, and people would get really tired of me venting a lot about Mug and say that i should just cut contact with him already. and throughout those 7-8 months i've had this heavy weight on my back everytime i heard Mug's name cause i felt guilty for causing this to his life.
i'm not at all trying to pin the blame to Zoey despite he was mainly the cause of most of what i did to Mug. i take full accountability for the sexual behavior, months of manipulation and guilt-tripping and the amount of times i've had mentally and emotionally abused him.-- Final Apology to Mug
I want to apologize to Mug for getting into a relationship with you while we both had issues with our own personal lives, i wish i had reconsidered what would've happened when we did commit to it. i'm sorry for threatening to KMS multiple times when our stuff got public, i was under so much stress when it all happened, it's not excusable of me to do it and i'm sorry that it caused you to also get dragged into mental health problems that, being the cause of you getting expelled at school for awhile. i'm sorry for doing all of those sexual things around the time we were still dating and while Project Swirl was still active. it's disgusting and it isn't justifiable in any way, i'm aware that it had negatively affected your mental health drastically, i'm also sorry for accusing you for transphobia and homophobia a few months back, it was a big misunderstanding and i should've had thought about it more than impulsively react. i had initially thought you actually meant it seriously but you had explained why you exactly said the things you said later after those posts and tweets were made.